She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize