and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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