all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
