As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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