Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
