I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
