I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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