I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize