What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
