zippers are such a cool invention
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
