New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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