no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
