Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
