Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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