so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize