I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
