I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I pour the whiskey from now on
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
