i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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