THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize