Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
