I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
