First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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