Do you still have your period?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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