Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
