6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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