matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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