I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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