Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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