Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This gyro tastes like lonliness
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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