Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
