she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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