Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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