its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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