just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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