My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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