all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize