Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize