So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
