Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
