You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize