it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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