is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
