I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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