im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
