I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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