did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
