Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
