Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
