Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i out mim tonsoeep
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