Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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