So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
