hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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