So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
