My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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