I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
