As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize