Screwed.edu
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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