Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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