She just used a chaser for red wine.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
where are you?
Hypothermia
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
