All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
