Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
