my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
